Okay, the cat is officially out of the bag). It would seem that first Fratello, were tipped to “drop” the drop yesterday afternoon (Eastern Time here in the lower 48). This, in turn, led to a mad scramble from several outlets to put out as much info as they could, as fast as they could. Here at the current HQ of Tempus Fugit Tallulah, Sabrina and I opted to reach for the popcorn and watch.

So first and foremost, bravo to Swatch and Omega for the ultimate tease/just kidding/no maybe we’re serious/pay no attention to the man behind the curtain/psyche out. Was it a teensy-bit douchey? Well… sort of. But in fairness, it was effective.But while some of my soon-to-be former colleagues in the Fourth and Fifth Estates are feeling (in some cases) more than a bit put out, here at Tempus Fugit we prefer to focus on the products themselves.

But before that, a bit of Henki lore:

My second mechanical watch was a circa 1963 Omega Seamaster 30 that I found at an indoor flea market in Turku, Finland in 1996 –

The First Kiss

My first mechanical chronograph was a yellow Speedmaster Schumacher. I was also the custodian of a circa 1969 Speedmaster Professional
Astronauts and Cosmonauts

And I do, at times, miss that Speedmaster. But I also feel that the current price levels being sought from the folks in Biel/Bienne are not dissimilar to the amounts usually negotiated with the aid of a pistol and a getaway car. So I don’t really see an Omega Spedmaster in my future.

With that said, it has been a long time since a product launch (no matter how it has been handled) has made me and so many other people smile. And when you strip away all of the goofiness that got us to this point, in the end it is supposed to be about the watch (or Swatch) itself.

Is this an actual Omega Speedmaster? No. It is fair to describe it as a Swatch Chronograph in Omega Speedmaster livery. But that does take away from the fun. Because this is a Swatch that will appeal to pretty much everyone who loves (or even likes) watches. It is fun, it is whimsical, and it is (by Omega standards) a bargain. Is it a bargain by Swatch standards? Well…

But let’s get back to the fun! The MOONSWATCH collection is made up of references for each of the planets (including the our own), the sun and our own modest satellite, the moon. I suspect that the Mission to Mars and Mission to the Moon versions will be the hot sellers, and they are indeed very nice. But I thought I’d focus on what might be an under appreciated model, the Mission to Jupiter – 

While I realize it might not be everyone’s planetary destination (at least in Swatch Land), it speaks to me.

The price tag is US $260. So if you have the money, that is (you would think) all you need. Well, not so fast Spaceman Spiff –

Swatch, in their wisdom, decided that if you want one, you can only get one from a Swatch boutique. Okay, fair enough! Oh, but wait…

Not just any boutique, but a “select” boutique!

Now I realize that particularly in light of the world’s problems today, this is a spoiled-brat, first world problem. But then again, it is a little specious for Hayek the Younger and Omega’s CEO Mr. Aeschlimann to crow about how this is now accessible to everyone. Well, if you are in Switzerland, that is abundantly true as you can’t really swing a Flik Flak without hitting a Swatch boutique. 

In North America, you will be picking up the phone and hoping like hell that someone on the other end is going to:

A. Take the Call

B. Sell you one

Because here in a fairly large (geographically) country, Swatch has decided that you will probably only want one of these MOONSWATCHES if you live in:

New York City Metro (extending down to Philadelphia), Texas (Dallas and Houston), Las Vegas, Miami, San Francisco and Hawaii. Now my specialization as a teacher is linguistics and adult continuing education. I am not a trained geographer, nor do I claim prowess in demographic studies. With that said, I have heard rumors that Chicago, Denver, Boston, Los Angeles, Seattle and other cities might just have people who might just want to buy this watch. But again, Swatch in all of their wisdom set up their one and only Boston Swatch Boutique in a fairly deserted portion of Boston Logan Airport. Needless to say, it “departed” some time ago and has not yet been replaced elsewhere in the Boston Metro area.

Further to this point, our neighbors to the north are even more hosed on this one. Because despite what the sales brain trust in Weehawken, New Jersey might think, there are more cities in Canada than Toronto and Montreal. They would be aware of this if they followed the NHL more closely. Just saying.

So for those of you reading this in the hinterlands of Chicago, St. Louis, Memphis, Ottawa, Edmonton, Los Angeles and elsewhere, bonne chance! I have reached out to my “network” and we will see if I get lucky!  Stay tuned, as my Mission to a Select Swatch Boutique gets underway.